That No One Should Despair of Himself, or Pray Against His Enemies, or Give Up When He Does Not Receive What He Asks For; And To Husbands, On Maintaining Peace Towards Their Wives
A Homily by St. John Chrysostomos
1. I am very grateful to you for the eagerness with which you welcomed my
words on prayer, because you have made me happy. Happy is he that speaketh in
the ears of those who hearken (Ecclesiasticus 25:9). I am convinced of this,
not only by the applause and praise that I received, but also by what I saw you
doing. For, as I was exhorting you not to pray against your enemies and telling
you that we irritate God by so doing, and legislate in opposition to Him (for,
He Himself said, Pray for your enemies [cf. St. Matthew 5:44], and when
we pray against our enemies, we demand that He abolish His own law); as,
therefore, I was saying these things and the like, I saw many among you striking
their faces and breasts, groaning bitterly and stretching their hands out to
Heaven, asking forgiveness for having uttered such prayers. Then I, too, lifting
up my eyes to Heaven, gave thanks to God that the word of my teaching had borne
fruit for us so quickly. Such is the nature of spiritual seed: it does not
require years, periods of time, or days; if it but enters into a noble soul, it
immediately manifests an ear of corn that is flourishing and perfect. This is
what happened yesterday in your case. I sowed the word of compunction, and the
sighing of confession sprouted, a sighing which bore a great wealth of
blessings. For, if that publican, because he said, while beating his breast, Be
gracious to me, a sinner, went away justified rather than the Pharisee, how
much confidence may we reasonably expect to acquire, when we have displayed such
great compunction in a short time? And yet, there is nothing worse than a
publican; for, this occupation is the ultimate definition of evil. Christ shows
this by the fact that He constantly uses prostitutes and publicans as examples
of the most extreme degree of depravity. Tax-collecting stands for open
violence, unpunished robbery, a despicable kind of greed, a business devoid of
rationality, and shameful commerce; nevertheless, one who lived amid such great
evils was able to cast aside such reproaches by means of mere words and to
receive more than he requested. For, his petition was, Be gracious to me, a
sinner; and, God was not only gracious to him, but even justified him more than
the Pharisee. This is why Paul says: Unto Him that is able to do exceeding
abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). And yet, the
Pharisee prayed and stood in the Temple, called upon the same God, uttered more
words, and began his prayer by giving thanks to God. How is it, then, that the
latter lost the goods that he had, whereas the former received a confidence
which he did not have? Because the manner of their prayer was not the same. For,
the Pharisee was full of boasting, arrogance, and foolishness, while the
publican was full of great gratitude. Hence, the latter, though he was burdened
by innumerable sins, cast them all aside and was justified, whereas the former,
who had put out to sea with a shipload of good deeds, almsgiving, and fasting,
dashed against the attitude of vainglory and arrogance as against a rock, and
suffered shipwreck in the harbor itself. For, to suffer a loss in prayer is the
same as being shipwrecked in a harbor. But this did not happen by the nature of
prayer, but by his own free choice.
2. Do you see how prayer is not sufficient for our salvation, if we do not
pray in accordance with those laws which Christ established? Now, what laws did
He establish? To pray for our enemies and for those who greatly distress us.
Unless we do this, we will assuredly perish, as is clear from the example of the
Pharisee. For, if this man, who did not pray against his enemies, received such
a heavy punishment simply for vainglory, what punishment is in store for those
who deliver many long speeches against their enemies? What are you up to, O man?
You stand there, asking for forgiveness of your sins, and yet you fill your mind
with anger? At a time when we should be at our gentlest, while conversing with
the Master, making entreaty for our own sins, and beseeching mercy,
loving-kindness, and forgiveness, do we become enraged, as savage as wild
beasts, and fill our mouths with bitterness? Tell me, how shall we be able to
attain to salvation, when we project the image of suppliants, but utter arrogant
words and rouse the Master to anger against us? You have entered the church to
heal your own wounds, not to make your neighbors wounds more painful. This is a
time for propitiation, a time for prayer and sighing, not for anger; a time for
tears, not for irascibility, a time for compunction, not for irritation. Why do
you confuse the proper order of things? Why do you fight against yourself? Why
do you demolish your dwelling? One who prays must, above all, have a gentle
spirit, a restrained mind, and a contrite heart; one who utters exclamations
against his enemies could never achieve this state; for, being filled with
anger, he cannot control his mind.
Therefore, let us not pray against our enemies, but let us not even be
mindful of our own good deeds, lest we suffer the same fate as the Pharisee.
For, just as it is good to recall ones sins, so it is also good to forget ones
good deeds. Why is this? Because remembrance of our good deeds puffs us up with
arrogance, whereas remembrance of our sins curbs and humbles our mind; the
former makes us more sluggish, but the latter makes us more diligent. Indeed,
those who do not think that they have anything good become more eager to acquire
what is good, whereas those who reckon that they have stored up a great deal of
merchandise, confident they have an abundance of this, do not display much zeal
for obtaining more of it.
3. Wherefore, do not remember your good deeds, in order that God may remember
them. Do thou first confess thy sins, it is written, that thou mayest be
justified (Isaiah 43:26). And again: I will not remember thine iniquities,
but do thou remember them (Isaiah 43:25). But why was God so quick to hearken
to the publican, while He let Isaac implore and entreat Him on behalf of his
wife for twenty years, and only then granted the prayers of the righteous man? I
must now explain to you the remainder of my teaching from yesterday. Why, then,
did this happen? So that from the story of the publican you might come to know
the loving-kindness of the Master, Who is quick to hear, and from the story of
Isaac the patience of a servant who is slow to receive and yet does not desist
from supplication; so that, though you may be a sinner, you might not despair,
and, though you may be righteous, you might not be puffed up. They that be
whole need not a physician, but they that are sick (St. Matthew 9:12). The
publican was in a bad way; this is why God was quick to stretch out His hand to
him; Isaac was stronger, and this is why He left him alone, so as to increase
his patience. But all of this is obvious enough. I must now tell you why Isaacs
wife was barren: so that, when you see the Virgin becoming a mother, you might
not disbelieve, and so that, when a Jew asks you, How did Mary give birth? you
might reply to him, How did Sarah, Rebecca, or Rachel give birth? When some
wondrous and mighty miracle is going to occur, many types prefigure it. Just as
when an Emperor is about to enter, many soldiers run before him, so that His
Majesty is not received suddenly and without preparation, likewise, when an
extraordinary miracle is going to take place, it is prefigured by types, so
that, having meditated on it beforehand, we might not be suddenly astounded or
dumfounded by the miraculous nature of the event. This is also true of death. In
this instance, Jonah was the precursor who trained our minds. For, just as the
sea monster vomited him forth after three days, not finding him to be suitable
fare (for the nature of sin is the proper and suitable sustenance of death—from
sin is it born, from sin does it take root, by sin is it nourished); and just,
as in our case, when we swallow a stone without realizing it, and at first the
action of the stomach attempts to digest it, but, finding this sustenance to
be alien to it, consults further with the digestive faculty and does not
decompose the stone, but destroys its strength (hence, it cannot hold down its
previous sustenance, but, in exhaustion, it vomits it up together with the stone
in great pain); so, also, in the case of death: it swallowed the Cornerstone and
was unable to digest it, since all of its strength was sapped; for this reason,
together with this Stone it threw up the rest of the food that it had inside it,
when it vomited forth human nature, which, in the end, it could not hold down.
This is why the barren women [of the Old Testament] were precursors, that the
birthgiving [of the Virgin] might be confirmed—or, rather, not only that this
birthgiving might be confirmed, but more; for, if we examine the matter with
precision, we shall find that barrenness is a figure of death itself.
4. Now, pay attention, for this is a subtle point. We are going to say how
Sarahs barren womb leads us by the hand, as it were, to faith in the
Resurrection. How, then, does it lead us? Just as her womb, being dead, was
resurrected by the Grace of God and brought forth the living body of Isaac, so
also Christ, having died, was resurrected by His own power. And listen to Paul
testifying that our exegesis is not forced: [the Prophet Abraham] considered
not...the deadness of Sarahs womb...but was strong in faith, giving glory to
God and being fully persuaded that what He had promised He was able also to
perform (Romans 4:19-21). That is, God was able to bring it about that a living
son be born from dead bodies. Then, leading us from that belief to this one, he
adds: It was not written for his sake alone, that it was imputed to him,
but for us also, to whom it shall be imputed, if we believe on Him that raised
up Jesus our Lord from the dead (Romans 4:23-24). What he is saying is this:
God raised up Isaac from dead bodies; so also did He raise up His Son, Who had
become dead. Do you want to learn what else barrenness symbolizes? The Church
was to give birth to the multitude of the Faithful. Therefore, in order that you
might not disbelieve that She who was infertile, unfruitful, and barren gave
birth, one who was barren by nature preceded Her, preparing the way for
Her who was voluntarily barren, and Sarah thus became a type of the Church. For,
just as she, being barren, gave birth in old age, so also the Church, being
barren, gave birth in the last times. Hear how Paul testifies that this is true:
We are children of the free woman (Galatians 4:31). For, since Sarah, the free
woman, is a type of the Church, for this reason he adds that we are children of
the free woman. And again: Now we, brethren, as Isaac was, are the children of
promise (Galatians 4:28). What does he mean by promise?
Just as nature did not give birth to Isaac, it was not nature that gave birth
to us, but the Grace of God. And again: But Jerusalem which is above is free,
which is the mother of us all (Galatians 4:26); this Jerusalem is the Church.
But ye are come unto Mount Sion, Paul says, and unto the city of the living
God, the heavenly Jerusalem, ...to the Church of the firstborn (Hebrews
12:22-23). If, therefore, the Church is the Jerusalem which is above, Sarah is a
type of the Jerusalem which is above, as he says: These are the two covenants:
the one which gendereth to bondage, which is Agar...; but Jerusalem, which is
above, is free, which is the mother of us all (Galatians 4:24-26). It is quite
clear that Sarah is a type of the Jerusalem which is above, in terms of
birthgiving and barrenness.
5. I know that what I have said is rather subtle; but if we pay attention,
nothing of what I have said will elude us. These words of mine are rather
mystical and dogmatic; but if you wish, I will speak on a more ethical level.
Isaacs wife was barren, so that you might learn of her husbands chastity; for,
he did not throw her out, although there was no law to prevent him from so
doing; nor did he take another wife and introduce her into his household
in addition to his lawful wife, as many do on the pretext of producing children,
satisfying their own licentiousness, throwing out some women and introducing
others. Other men arm themselves with concubines and fill their households with
countless squabbles. But not so this righteous man; rather, he remained loving
toward the wife allotted to him by God, implored the Master of nature to rectify
the bonds of nature, and did not reproach his wife. And how do we know that he
did not reproach her? From Scripture. If he had reproached her, Scripture would
have said so and would not have kept silent about it; for, it tells of the good
deeds of the righteous and their flaws, so that we may avoid the latter and
emulate the former. Therefore, when the young wife Rachel lamented to Isaacs
son, and his son chided her, Scripture set forth both sides and did not hide
them. For, when she said, Give me children, and if not, I shall die,
what did he say? Am I in the place of God, who hath deprived thee the fruit of
the womb? (Genesis 30:1-2). Give me children—a womans request, and one
devoid of reason. Do you say to your husband, Give me children, thereby
passing over the Master of nature? This is why, in responding to her
reproachfully, he blocked her irrational demand and taught her Whom she should
ask. But this is not so in the case of Isaac; neither did he say any such thing,
nor did Rebecca complain and lament to him.
From this we are taught chastity and faith. For, the act of making requests
of God indicates faith in Him; that Isaac did not throw out his wife makes clear
to us his chastity; that he neither reproached her nor fell into despair reveals
his patience and moderation, as well as his great forbearance and love towards
his wife. For he did not have, as many men now do in such circumstances,
recourse to magic and sorcery, these unnecessary, foolish, harmful, and
soul-destroying arts; but, omitting all of these things and mocking all human
artifices, he had recourse to the Master of nature, Who alone is able to rectify
such a situation.
6. Hear these words, you husbands, and be instructed, you wives, and let us
all imitate the righteous man. Let there be nothing more honorable for a wife
than her husband, and let there be nothing more desirable for a husband than his
wife. Concord between husbands and wives is what holds together all our lives;
this is what keeps the whole world together. For, just as when the foundation is
shaken, the entire house is demolished, so also, when there is marital discord,
our whole life is overturned. For see: the world consists of cities, cities of
households, and households of husbands and wives. If, therefore, war breaks out
between husbands and wives, that warfare enters into their homes; and when these
are disturbed, cities are also destroyed; when cities are in disorder, of
necessity the whole inhabited earth is filled with confusion, warfare, and
combat. For this reason, God put much forethought into this matter. He does not
allow a man to throw out his wife, except on grounds of fornication. What,
then, you say, if she is abusive and extravagant, and has innumerable other
faults? Endure it all courageously, and do not throw her out because of her
faults, but correct those faults. The reason why you are the head is that you
may care for the body. We do not decapitate our body, even if it has countless
wounds. Therefore, do not separate your wife from you; for, as far as we are
concerned, the wife is the body. Hence, the Blessed Paul said: So ought men to
love their wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5:28). And the same law applies
to wives. Love your husband as you love your own head, O wife, and, if you honor
your head, in like manner honor your husband. It is not without reason that I
speak about this matter at such length. I know how many blessings are occasioned
by a wife not being at variance with her husband; I also know how many evils
arise when husbands and wives are at variance with each other. For, in that
situation, neither wealth, nor beautiful children, nor a multitude of children,
nor office, nor power, nor glory, nor honor, nor luxury and extravagance, nor
any other success could ever gladden a wife or a husband, if they were
quarreling with one another.
7. Let us strive for this before all else. Does your wife have flaws? Do what
Isaac did: pray to God. For, if this man, by his perseverance in prayer,
overcame a natural defect, how much more will we be able to rectify voluntary
flaws by constantly entreating God. If God sees you persevering for the sake of
His Law, and bravely putting up with your wifes sins, He will help you to teach
her aright and will reward you for your patience. For, how knowest thou, O man,
whether thou shalt save thy wife? Or how knowest thou, O wife, whether thou
shalt save thy husband? (I Corinthians 7:16). Do not be disheartened, he is
saying, do not despair. It can happen that she, too, may be saved; but, if she
remains incorrigible, you have not lost the reward for your patience. However,
if you throw her out, you have sinned first by transgressing the law, and you
will be judged an adulterer by God: For, whosoever shall put away his wife,
save for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery (St. Matthew
5:32). It often happens that if you take a wife who is more irksome than she,
not only do you commit a sin, but you also do not enjoy any respite. Yet, if you
marry a better woman, because you dismissed your first wife, God does not allow
you to have unalloyed pleasure from your second wife, and the fact that you
dismissed your first wife is imputed to you as adultery. Therefore, when you see
some difficulty befalling you, either in your marital life, or in some other
situation, pray to God; for this is the only solution—and the best one—to the
woes that come our way. Great indeed is the weapon of prayer. I have often said
it, I am saying it now, and I will not stop saying it. Even though you are a
sinner, look at the publican, who did not fail in his entreaties and who
cleansed himself of so many sins. Do you want to know what a great thing prayer
is? Even friendship with God does not accomplish as much as prayer. And this is
not just my view; for I would not dare to state something of such importance on
the basis of my own opinion. Learn from Scripture that whatever friendship does
not accomplish is accomplished by prayer. Which of you shall have a friend, and
shall go unto him and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves. And he shall
answer and say, The door is shut, and my children are with me in bed; trouble me
not. I say unto you, though he will not give him, because he is his friend, yet
because of his importunity he will give him as many as he needeth (St. Luke
11:5-8). Do you see how persistence is able to achieve whatever friendship
cannot? For, lest you should suppose that the one who asked obtained what he
needed because he was a friend, it says: Though he will not give him, because
he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will give him. Even though
friendship will not bring this about, yet persistence will bring about whatever
friendship cannot. And where did this occur? In the case of the publican. For,
the publican was not a friend of God, but he became His friend. And so, even
though you are an enemy, you will become a friend by virtue of persistence. Look
at the Syro-Phœnician woman and hear what Christ says to her: It is not meet to
take the childrens bread, and to cast it to dogs (St. Matthew 15:26). Why did
He do this, if it is not a good thing? The woman made it good by her
persistence, so that you may learn that by persistence we become worthy of
things of which we are unworthy.
8. I have made these points, in order that you may not say: I am a sinner; I
have no confidence, I have no prayer. The man who has confidence is the one who
does not think he has confidence. He who thinks he has confidence loses
it, just as the Pharisee did. The man who thinks he is an outcast and lacking in
confidence, just like the publican, is the one to whom God particularly
hearkens. Look how many examples you have: the Syro-Phœnician woman, the
publican, the thief on the Cross, and the friend in the parable who asked for
three loaves and who obtained his request, not so much because of his
friendship, as because of his persistence. Had each of these people said, I am
a sinner, I am overcome with shame, and so I should not approach God, he would
have made no progress. But since each of them regarded not the magnitude of his
sins, but the wealth of God's love for mankind, he was confident and had
boldness, and, although he was a sinner, asked for things of which he was not
worthy—and each achieved what he wanted. Let us keep all of these things in mind
and pray without ceasing, with vigilance, with confidence, with good hopes, and
with great zeal. Let us pray for our enemies with as much zeal as others
pray against their enemies, and let us pray for our own brethren, and we
will assuredly obtain all that is to our benefit. For, He who gives to us loves
mankind, and we do not desire to receive to the extent that He desires to give.
Knowing all of this, therefore, even if we have sunk to the lowest depth of
evil, let us not even then despair of our salvation, but let us approach God
with good hope, having persuaded ourselves that we will by all means receive
what we ask for, if we ask in accordance with the laws which He has established.
Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or
think (Ephesians 3:20), Christ our God, the King of all, are due all glory,
honor, and worship, together with His unoriginate Father and the All-Holy and
life-giving Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
From Orthodox Tradition, Volume
XIX (2002), No. 2, pp. 10-17. Translated by Hieromonk Patapios and edited by Archbishop
Chrysostomos. The original Greek text of this homily, which has not heretofore
appeared in English, is found in the Patrologia Græca, Vol. LI, cols.
363-372.
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